| About me. |
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Born the year Edith Piaf died, Akron, Ohio. I grew to like Akron as an adult, but knew at age 18 that I had to get out. Traveled about for many years, came back to Cleveland, saved my money and traveled all over Europe twice within a twelve month period, the second time alone. Both trips were pivotal times in my life. My mother thought I should "save for my wedding." What wedding? Italy, France and the rest of Europe were calling my name.
I am from an enormous American-Italian family: 10 other siblings. Pure insanity. Lots of loving times together. Sometimes lots of static. I discovered my artistic talent late in my 20s and explore it as much as I can. I throw on a wheel and hand-build pottery. I knit. Taking pictures with my old Olympus totally-manual camera is great, I love the way it feels in my hand, and I'm taking a black and white photo class for Spring semester here at Cornell. Writing is therapy. Cooking is love; I thank my mother's kitchen for that. My father is very special to me as well my mother. A revelation that my three sisters and I all possess independent qualities of Auntie Mame came to me recently, but that's a book for later. Sandra Bernhardt intrigues me because she tells it like it is. Early Bette Midler, Bowie, Leonard Cohen, Air, Mahalia Jackson and Edith Piaf are musical favorites. I love yoga. My cousin Marisa. Also, foreign and independent films are important to me, and I became involved with film for years, before it was "cool."
Eventually, a man walked into my life who appreciated my eccentricity, who understood my ideas, goals and priorities in life, and who encouraged me that I wasn't as off-base as I felt at times. I married this man. We eloped and honeymooned in Italy in February of 2000, and had a huge reception/affirmation of vows at the end of July. We moved to Ithaca, New York almost two years ago for Jason to attend grad school. He tells me I am as complex as my naturally curly hair. Here we are, having a pleasant conversation:
Where will we end
up? Not sure. But things have a way of working themselves out, so we'll
take it a day at a time.
Recently I attended my 20th high school reunion. It was a bit melancholy. Not because I feel like I should be at a certain place professionally, or should have had children by now, not for any of those reasons. Mostly the melancholy feelings came from some of my other schoolmates who seemed so unhappy. We are all getting older. We are all nearing 40. Doesn't bug me, yet it seemed to bug some of the people at the reunion. Some were so small-minded they couldn't even ask how my life is, yet went on and on about their 2.5 kids, new house in the 'burbs, the SUV they want, and their lives. When I tried to tell them about Opensewer and what we stand for, all I got were blank stares. One had most definitely found Jesus (!) and as she said our dinner prayer talking about how much He is her Friend and the only thing that really matters, I could only think about other classmates in the audience who might be Buddists, Jewish, Hindi, or those who pray to some other God or Being, or Universe. As I returned to our dinner table, a married guy sitting with us leaned and whispered to me, "Daaammmmmn... I didn't see you standing up. You look gooooood." In response, I asked him how his wife was. Some were going through miserable divorces. The sweetest guy in our class is really in an unhappy marriage, after over 10 years, which made me incredibly blue for about a week after the reunion. All those years. Others had lost zest for life. Some said they were hopeful that since I met the man of my life only within the last five years that maybe there is someone out there for them. So somehow the entire reunion, although it was great to attend, and there were certainly lovely moments, made me absolutely reflective and appreciative of my life, "abnormal" or possibly "unconventional" as it is.
I admit that I've never known what I wanted in life yet I've definitely known what I don't want. Never want to feel trapped. I want to live life, responsibility, but without regret. I never want to be bored. Where will I end up? I'd like to open a hat shop. I'd like to learn the fine art of millinery. I'd like to write a book about an aunt of mine, trailblazer in the thirties that she was. So at times when I get caught up in the mundane, or wonder what could have been, I remind myself that it's never to late and that this is the result of choosing a certain lifestyle. And you know what? It ain't all that bad, not bad at all.
I have been told I have my mother's heart. I feel balanced. I feel peace in my life.
[Updated February 5, 2002]